Don’t Let Me Down…

I let them down, I let myself down……God please don’t let me down. 

I pray to you every night, every day, and all the in between moments that I can steal away and know that you are listening.

Cereal on the floor, gum in her hair, toothbrush in the toliet, what more could go wrong today.  Oh no, I spoke to soon and she is off again throwing things and choking her sister. 

Breathe……1, 2, 3……..I feel myself wanting to crawl in a hole and disappear……

I left, I drove, I listened to the beat of my heart pounding in my ears. 

I let them down, I let myself down……God I need you to not let me down…..

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