Archive for January, 2011

Guys and Their Friends

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 25, 2011 by jadeluv28

I know every woman is thinking the same thing I am.  Why is it so hard to have a relationship with a guy that believes everything his friends tell him?  Don’t you even wonder why your relationship seems like it hits a brick wall about every six months and all of a sudden your boyfriend or even your husband starts reading into the little things that you say or do?  Don’t worry that is just his friends talking.  You think all they do is sit around and talk about sex and women and how much of this or that they are getting.  In all reality I am sure they talk a lot about that, but when it comes to a guy’s best friend he is dishing all about the problems he is having and what the hell he is supposed to do about them.  Yes this leaves you feeling betrayed that he would actually talk to his friends about that sort of stuff but you know full well that you dish the same things with your girlfriends. 

Guys on the other hand should not be giving each other advice because half the time I believe they don’t know anything about relationships.  If you have an honest open relationship with your significant other than you have nothing to worry about because you can talk about anything and everything.  Most of the time that isn’t the case with relationships because there is a sense of keeping part of yourself just to yourself.  This is where the guys friends step in and every time you don’t want to talk about something these friends of your partner think they have the answers.  In all reality I think they are just telling your man what he wants to hear and confirming his wildest notions that something isn’t right in Dodge City.   Women actually listen and analyze and use their smarts when dealing with their partners.  They sometimes use ploys and other devices to get answers that confirm their questions in a relationship but guys just don’t have those tools.  This leads to men losing trust and loyalty in a relationship.  When they think that their partner is cheating or withholding they ask their best friends “What should I do?” and their guys friends have plenty of answers.  If this guys friends don’t like you and are good friends of your partners then they will tell your partner that he needs to get even and cheat back because he might as well if you are already thinking that he has been unfaithful.  Now on the other hand if these guys like you and respect you as a partner to their friend then they are a little more reluctant to pick the revenge route.  However, they tend to lead your man astray and make him believe that if you are jumping to conclusions then maybe you are the one that has something to hide and then begins the cycle of games.  So no matter what is going on a guys friends become your worst enemy.  I am not saying you should start telling your guy he can’t hang out or talk to his friends because that is just selfish.

Avoiding at all costs the possibility of a fight ensuing you should just be open and honest with one another and treat each other with the respect that you both deserve in a loving relationship.  I believe that honest relationships are the ones that outlast everything.  If you don’t feel like you can be honest in a relationship then you don’t deserve to be with that person because you aren’t really helping the relationship you are hindering it by putting up a barrier to the real you and what you deserve in the relationship.  This goes for both sides of the partnership.  Men and woman need to be open in a relationship and honest to make things work.  If you can’t be honest with the other person and feel comfortable doing so then you should really think about how important this relationship is to you?

Live, Love, Laugh

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on January 24, 2011 by jadeluv28

Haven’t blogged in a while but that doesn’t mean I have thought any less about life or love for that matter.  I have been consumed lately with so much of life and not all good but wishing it was better.  I feel lost some days, alone in the world with nothing and no one.  I sometimes wonder how I got so lost and if I might ever find my way back to ME.  Then I wonder what ME is because I don’t even think I remember.  Was it when I was five and thought about being a dancer or a writer or a biologist?  Was it when I was sixteen and had my first serious life injury wondering if that would change my future or shape who I was going to be?  I think that each of those things shaped me in one way or another.  Sometimes I wonder if certain things in my life would not have happened would I be a totally different person.  I know that everyone in our lives that we come in contact with shape our lives in one way or another just like we shape their lives whether negative or positive I wouldn’t know because sometimes we are in their lives or they are in ours for only a short moment.  Sometimes we can’t even remember those people.  I remember each one though.  Surprisingly I still look back and recall how each one of those people made some sort of impact on me and yes some of it was negative but in some cases it made me stronger. 

Some people have had tragedy and people in their lives that have made a negative impact and they have no desire to look at the bright side of things but rather focus on the negative of the matter.  This in turn leads to what I would call the “blame game”.  No one wants to take responsibility for their own lives or how they turned out, they just want to blame it on someone who happened into their lives.  They don’t understand that they are the ones that let them in.  That is why we are so afraid to live, love, laugh, and let people into our lives.  We are so afraid of how they are going to impact us that we refuse to give them a chance, we are so afraid of change.  It hurts us to smile and be happy for once without the thoughts of getting hurt creeping in. 

I don’t know, just thought I would put this out there.  Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that feels this way and thinks this way.  I know sometimes I don’t let people in because of that.  Other times I am just so focused on other things that I don’t see that people are trying to get in.  It is exhausting, I know, just living life from day-to-day.  I believe though that if we just let life happen, and laugh once in a while, love will find and embrace us.